God in Our Relationships, Spirituality between People from the Teachings of Martin Buber," is another worthy choice for holiday reading. Rabbi Dennis S. Ross draws on multiple sources to illuminate the sacredness of relationships and apply Buber's ideas to our lives. Buber theorized more than 80 years ago in his work, "I and Thou," that there are holy possibilities present whenever people interact. Ross takes Buber's classic and infuses it with contemporary sensibility, weaving together his own life experience with quotations and insights gleaned from Buber's often difficult obscure writing.

           Vicki Cabot
           Jewish News of Greater Phoenix
           May 23, 2003

The philosophy of Martin Buber, particularly that known by the two words I-Thou, may not be everyone's idea of easy and readily comprehensible material.  Yet this is exactly what Dennis Ross sets out to make it in another original publication by Jewish Lights Publishing. His starting point is a chance encounter a quarter century ago with Buber's Tales of the Hasidim:  The Later Masters, which served as his introduction to the philosopher's other writings, especially that entitled I-Thou.   In this deeply spiritual and sustaining short book, drawing on his own personal and professional experience as well as some Hasidic tales, Ross applies the major themes of the I-Thou philosophy to every day life and describes with passion and enthusiasm they ways in which it can enrich our everyday lives

             Liberal Judaism, ULPS News
             May, 2003

What is happening when we lose ourselves in conversation with a friend, or even a chance acquaintance? What is different about these occasions from our run-of-the mill transactions with others? Such questions are the starting point for Rabbi Dennis Ross in his deft and appealing introduction to the thought of Martin Buber, "God in Our Relationships."

Abandoned by his mother at age three, Martin Buber (1878-1965) early experienced the anguish of lost relationship. His grandparents nurtured the intellectual and spiritual interests decisive in his future work: secular and Jewish scholarship, Hebraic studies, and the life of the Jewish community. It was through them, also, that Buber became acquainted with Hasidim, whose master-disciple teaching tradition and emphasis on the sanctification of everyday life became important themes in his work. Buber's best-known work, "I and Thou" (1923), explores human relationships, from those in which we see another as the fulfiller of our own needs (I-It relationships), to those in which we are truly present to another person and grant the other full reality (I-Thou). Each I-Thou encounter is gathered into the life of God, becoming part of the everlasting record of human good in the Eternal Thou.

Ross, who is the rabbi at Temple Anshe Amunim in Pittsfield, makes these ideas accessible to the general reader through the structure of his book as well as his clear and engaging writing. The very brief chapters (few of which exceed three pages) loosely follow his course through a single day, from a stop at the bank at its beginning to reviewing its events with his wife at its close. Each of his encounters, whether routine or of life-and-death significance, illuminates some aspect of the I-It, I-Thou and Eternal Thou relationships. Together, they provide a developing narrative framework into which Ross weaves both Buber's illustrative Hasidic stories as well as his own knowledge and experience as a counselor. Each chapter invites one to linger on a new idea, relish the wit of a Hasidic master, or re-examine one's own memories, yet flows naturally to the next with increasing impact.

The result is a book that is thoughtful, moving and timely. Buber's critique of a purely utilitarian approach to social relationships is newly relevant to a world of spiritual seekers. His recovery of Hasidic teaching and his expression of the role of God in human relationships — which from the start Influenced Christian as well as Jewish theologians — have taken their place In an increasingly rich and serious dialogue between these faiths, at its best a true I-Thou encounter.

Ross opens this dialogue to a wide audience. "God in Our Relationships" will prove inviting and refreshing to anyone seeking deeper relationships with others and a greater awareness of the presence of God in everyday life.

         Linda Schwab, Ph.D.
         Wells College, Aurora, New York
         Berkshire Eagle, July, 2003

Sooner or later, a rabbi will discover that while theological discourse may nourish one's days in study-houses and even in synagogues, it suffers limited applicability in coffeehouses, bedrooms, and, worst of all, in hospitals. Neither friendly barrista, harried spouse, nor suffering patient is likely to welcome the intrusion of theologizing into everyday meetings and conversations. And the patient or the bereaved may end up feeling deprived when her rabbi responds to her needs with a discussion about God, even when questioned directly: "Rabbi, how could God let this happen to me?

As he recounts in his lectures, when Rabbi Dennis Ross encoun­tered Buber for the first time, in a Modern Theology class in rabbin­ical school, he too found himself frustrated by Buber's dense, specifically German idiom (much of which is mutilated by transla­tion), and the uber-pedagogic mien of a work that, our professors assured us, aimed to speak to the heart, to the common seeker of meaning. Buber intended, after all, to help us apprehend the Eternal in everyday encounters, accessible to all, not only in academies. Instead of pilpul or philosophy as the conduit of spiritual insight, Buber favored popular Hasidic stories and parables (which, draw­ing from Buber's Tales of the Hasidim, Ross incorporates liberally into his own).

Part introduction to Martin Buber's theology of relationship, part self-help book, part lunchtime companion, God in Our Relationships: Spirituality between People from the Teachings of Martin Buber is a welcome addition to the bookshelves of spiritual leaders and laity alike. While the frame for the book remains unmistakably Jewish, the author's intention (like Buber's) is to serve an interfaith commu­nity, and, for that matter, a broad array of spiritual seekers, with a readable guide to one of the twentieth century's most influential and, for the casual learner anyway, least-readable thinkers.

Three features distinguish Ross' book from other secondary sources on Buber, and, for that matter, from other self-help books: (1) The book is foremost an extended meditation on the application of the I-Thou concept to living in twenty-first-century America. (2) The material is presented in digestible reflections on key lines from Buber's masterwork. Ross does not set out to analyze I and Thou systematically or comprehensively. It is more a popular digest of ideas and applications than a theological treatise. Hence this book's primary application is to everyday living—in coffeehouses, bed­rooms, and hospital wards, rather than seminaries. And (3) Ross' eloquent phrasing, gentle sincerity and playfulness in relating personal anecdotes, and unsentimental prose elevate the work from its peers on the self-help shelf—where Jewish Lights Publishing is marketing it.

What makes God in Our Relationships enjoyable, thought-provok­ing, and occasionally inspiring, is the disarming way in which Ross unpacks Buber's theology through anecdote, parable, and illustra­tion. Any chapter begins with an epigram from I and Thou, say, "Rising voices pre-empt all other sounds yet acknowledge that the whole world sings" (p. 63). Ross explicates by relating a hospital cafeteria conversation that attained an I-Thou dimension. "As we entered the conversation in earnest, we entered I-Thou, looking beyond the details. We enjoyed the food and drink. We shut out the conversations at nearby tables. The only reality that counted was in our words." A paragraph later, a concluding metaphor ties the anec­dote to the epigram:

"Imagine a picture on the wall of a museum. The frame, the canvas, the hook, and the wire on the back of the frame make possible the display of art and yet are not actively considered when a viewer studies the artwork. The studs in the wall and the floor and ceiling joists are essential to the picture on display but do not enter the mind. I-Thou fills the awareness. Everything else exists in the light of I-Thou, even as we ignore all other distractions." (p. 64)

Many will enjoy reading God in Our Relationships on its own. Teach­ers, preachers, and students may find it valuable to read it side-by-side with / and Thou, or to return to the epigrammatic quotations in the original source, understandings enhanced by Ross' humanizing contexts.
 
Though nearly every chapter consists of but a handful of para­graphs, the whole of the book follows a logical architecture, artic­ulating the meaning and applications of I-Thou theology first by defining I-It as we encounter such moments (sometimes menial, but no less mandatory) throughout each day. Especially effective is Ross' thorough investigation of the ways in which the lives so many of us lead (hectic, distracted, stressful) promote I-It encounters and stifle I-Thou experiences.

Gradually the book focuses attention on the meaning, message, and role of I-Thou encounters in relational moments with which all are (at least conceptually) familiar, finally reaching an elevated cadence with the introduction of I-Eternal Thou, glimpsing the Divine in relationship.
 
Ross relies on Hasidic parables:

"As Rabbi Hayyim of Zanz taught us, this world is like a deep forest where each person wanders alone. Hearing a voice in the distance, I lift my voice and call out .in the dark. A voice calls back. Hand reaches for hand, and voice lifts voice in I-Thou. These quiet triumphs of the spirit never make the newspaper headlines. But they make the world a better place and leave a permanent impact in Eternal Thou. "[I]n each Thou we address the Eternal Thou," said Martin Buber. As we converse with each other, we also speak to God in the Eternal Thou." (p. 100)

A book like this, that cobbles together disparate material from its primary source, could have fallen into disarray. Further uniting the narrative is Ross' poignant retelling of an ongoing encounter with a terminally ill patient. And while his ruminations on brief encounters with waitresses and workmen and family members inform the whole, it is his dialogue with the dying man that gives God in Our Relationships its resonance.

Valuable lessons come through without the reader feeling that Ross preaches at us, which makes God in Our Relationships the best kind of sermon of all. Enjoy it in its entirety in a few hours; keep it handy as a reference for sermons, prayer services, or daily inspira­tion; use it as a teaching supplement (but not the primary source) for Adult Education seminars or Confirmation classes; let it inform your work in chaplaincy and pastoral care; share it with non-Jewish friends and colleagues to broaden their perspective of Judaism. This elegant little paperback may indeed provide good company in coffee shops (where I read it), bedroom night-tables, and, yes, hospi­tal rooms.

        Rabbi Jonathan Blake
        Westchester Reform Temple, Scarsdale, New York
        CCAR Journal, Summer, 2005

It is possible to infuse every moment of life with meaning - from the routine act to the once-in-a-lifetime situation", explains the book God in Our Relationships. The author of this comfortable read is Rabbi Dennis S. Ross, an American minister who has taken the complex teachings of the Viennese theologian Martin Buber and interprets his philosophy in the light of everyday relationships.

The heart of Buber's work is the 'I Thou' relationship, where spiritual seekers are encouraged to connect to God in a way that is personal. Ross highlights the difficulties of spiritual connection in today's age - be it email, fax or the constantly ringing mobile telephones - and frames the contemporary discussion in the light of Hasidic spiritual masters. This deserves a place on anyone's bookshelf!

       Marcus J. Freed
       www.Jewish.co.uk

You can order God in Our Relationships: Spirituality between People from the Teachings of Martin Buber through Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, Jewish Lights Publishing or bookstores everywhere.